You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My dick has a subreddit
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
