i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
