Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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