Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
