but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She announced her abortion via fbk
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
