Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
