Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
