How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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