Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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