i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
