Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
