At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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