Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
