I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
