My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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