Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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