Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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