Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
