I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
