This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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