Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
