This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
