I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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