Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
