i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
