Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Please, let me fuck your mom
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
