so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
