I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
