i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
