White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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