you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
