I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
