She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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