So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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