Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
