I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
