Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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