Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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