I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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