I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
