so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
