did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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