Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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