WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
