um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's blow job season.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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