is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
MIDGETS
????
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
