She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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