Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
