He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
