there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
