Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
