There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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