I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
