she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
