soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
