You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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