Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
